Friday, February 18, 2011

TOP FIVE FRIDAY: if i were in hiding.

I'm going to be rull honest here, I have pretty much run out of blog-writing steam by Friday of each week. If it's work day five out of five, I'm gunning for five o'clock and the first sip of my inaugural weekend cocktail.  

Plus, it's actually kind of a stretch for me to motivate enough to shower four times a week, let alone compose and publish and clever and well-worded blog post. 

So from now on, good ole' Friday will not only be the gateway to the weekend, but also the day that I release a random top ten five list of some sort**. I was going to say ten, but like I said, it's Friday. I can't be held accountable for much. Try me Tuesday.

It could be awesome, it could be awful.


Sooooooooo, without further delay, here you go!

The top five things I would bring with me if I commited was wrongly charged with a heinious crime and needed to remain anonymous for the rest of my days.

(Let's assume I've got the cash thing covered because hello, obvious!)

1.   Multiple fake passports.

Now, I'm not saying I'm going to be moving around a lot or anything, but I think these could come in incredibly handy. I mean, I'm trying to fly under the radar here. Plus, with America's Most Wanted being the entirely reliable and credible program it is, with every responsible American tuning in weekly, the U S of A probably won't really be my best bet. I'm getting out of here right quick, and you can take that to the bank.

2. Handy little tools.

Luckily, I already own this exact device. A thank you, TJ Maxx. I bought it right around Christmas time when I was running out of money and still had more than three gifts left to buy. Really though, I can completely rationalize this decision to myself. You need Pliers? CHECK. LED Flashlight? Check! Knife/saw/bottleopener/flatheadscrewdriver/philipsheadscrewdriver/wirecutters? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK!

 I promised myself I would never leave home without this device, and although right now it's floating around in space somewhere, enjoying its journey back into my immeadiate possession, I would waste several precious moments of escape time to insure I had this little guy when I made a run for it. I'll probably go look for it tonight... or at some point this weekend, or at the very least before I plot my next heinious crime.

3.  Water purification tablets.

UHHHHHHH. Duh. I mean, I'm not really sure how remote/rugged this hypothecial scenario is going to get, but you bet your sweet ass I'm going to have clean drinking water. I've seen movies, I know how bat-shit crazy people get when they're depirved of hypdration, and I'm sure you have too. Now take those grotesque images, multiply it times ten and change the setting from desert to comfortable four-door SUV. Because I act WAY crazier than that on moderate-length car trips where I'm merely thirsty. When even the hint of the thirst gets to me, all bets are off. I'll go to great lengths and quite possibly be forced to commit even more heinous crimes over a sip of something wet. I'm not getting caught because I don't have a fresh bevy, so I'm not risking it. That's all there is to it.

4.  This T Shirt.

I'm no idiot, I'm not trying to give anyone something to identify me by or something, but the Buckeyes do in fact have the largest international network. So not only is it kind of blend-y, but it's also a lets-bond-over-our similarities-in-a-strange-place trigger. IE: kind strangers may will want to help me slash give me things for free just because I have a beloved alma mater in common with them. I just knew that expensive out-out-state tuition would pay off... someday.


5. Memories.. kind of

Nothing makes me nostalgic like a couple of stiff drinks. I'm not a loose-lipped drunk by any means, in fact I'm actually waaaaay more likely to start flat-out lying about everything I say, but when drinking alone, I'm probably the best I know of at recalling random-ass better times. So, Jim Beam, you happen to make the cut. Congrats.

Don't get me killed, or I'll switch you out for Manfriend... or something. Since I'll already be dead, I guess I can't really take it back, can I? Sorry Manfriend!

Make this weekend feisty!

XO Sare

**Oh, and also, I'll be accepting suggestions for next week's top five, so feel free to pop me with an email or comment and I'll take it and run with it. Thanks in advance!

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