Wednesday, October 19, 2011

a conversation regarding the future. part 2.

"Well, it's hard to say I'd want to pick up and move anywhere just because it sounds good." States the Man that moved out to Wyoming at age 18 to work on a ranch... because it sounded good.

I guess someone has matured since 18, touche.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied, not ready to concede the point that we should be discussing our preferences for future locales. "But I'm leaning heavily toward a school in New York City, and I've literally never in my life had any interest in living in NYC. I don't know if I could pick the school for that reason alone." I added.

I'm thinking I definitely had him there. This is also the man that referred to driving to the grocery store in the suburb where we live as going 'into town" before he moved out of the house surrounded by miles and miles of fields and we moved into together closer to civilization.  Surely he doesn't want to move to THAT big bad city either.

"Yeah, I can't say I wouldn't like it though, because I've never even been to NYC," he stated diplomatically.

And now I'm confused because I thought we were going to be closer to the same page on this. The man hates big cities. Or so I thought. So then I pull out my little pearl of recent self-discovery.

"Hm. I don't know. I really think I may be over the whole 'big city' phase in my life. I went chasing it and I wasn't happy with it. It was overwhelming, like I was trying to eat a whole steak in one bite every night. I got tired of being shoved around. There's just too many bodies. Everything is so close together that it's supposed to be more convenient, but really, it was harder for me to navigate and the public transportation made getting anywhere more difficult for me. I felt swallowed up."

And again, I'm surprised by his response.

"Yeah, but there's something about big cities. I'm not saying I want to live in one forever or raise a family in one or that that I love big cities more than the country. But I don't really love the suburbs. I think it would be cool to live in a big city for a while while I'm still pretty young. People that live in cities seem to just build some sort of pride after a time, I mean look at Philly and Chicago. Hell, people even have a sense of pride about being from Detroit!"

"Yeah, and Cleveland! People from Cleveland FUCKING LOVE CLEVELAND. What's up with that?"

And so on.

All in all, I'm glad we had an honest conversation about where we'd both like to live. Where I assumed Matt would hate basically anywhere that wasn't surrounded by trees and fields, he's much more open to trying a different landscape than I thought. We both agreed that we didn't want to live in Florida. However, When I stated that I'd rather live in California than New York City, he vehemently disagreed. Probably because he's extremely republican and I'm extremely the opposite. Oh, imagine what confused offspring we could produce!

I still don't really want to move to a big city. I lived in Chicago for a while after a series of poor life choices and bad luck, and as much as I love it there, like deeply deeply love it, I honestly wasn't happy there. This unhappiness was probably a result of a lot of things going on in my personal life and the fact that my job there was shady and paid almost nothing, but it was more than that. I felt crowded and swallowed and in constant over stimulation.

I guess in the end, we'll have to wait and find out which programs I get accepted to in the first place, and make a decision from there. Who knows? Maybe we'll end up in Big, Bad, NYC.


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