Thursday, February 16, 2012

how to piss yourself off.

 Ponder the compartmentalization of your emotions in the shower. Wonder if you actually feel anything for anyone. Lament the fact that no one you've ever been super close to has died tragically. Feel instant guilt.
Compartmentalize it.
Remember yesterday in your cubicle. The married dude with the new baby walked by your desk. Remember the instant you realized this had spurred you to fix and fuss over your hair. You don't even like that guy. And he didn't even look over at you.  He probably listens to Dave Matthews.  And remember that time he showed up in front of you with an ultrasound picture like a year ago and thrust it at you without saying anything?
He never makes a fresh pot of coffee when he pours himself the rest. Rude. Annoying.
You don't want to be the type of woman who primps because people are looking at her. Or even at the prospect of someone looking at you.
No one is looking at you.
Wonder if catching yourself in the act makes you more or less self aware than the people around you. Arrive at the conclusion of more.
Feel a little pleasure at this conclusion.
Realize you've just wasted your time thinking about this, when you should have been thinking about any of the 2383897 more pressing issues in your life.
Worry instead about the wrinkles you contributed to by squinting the way you always do when thinking about yourself unfavorably.
Arrive at yet another conclusion, you're vain.
And you annoy yourself.
Happy Thursday.

1 comment:

  1. The fact that he never makes a fresh pot of coffee just speaks to his personality...and how much of a shitty dad he probably is going to be.

    It's okay to be vain. We're all we have.