Thursday, June 14, 2012

a non-exhaustive list of what is up with me.

1. The housing search for my impending move across the country is getting markedly...frustrating. As if that wasn't to be expected using internet searches from thousands of miles away. You know, for once in my life it would be REALLY nice to actually not be to allergic to the place I live... aka have hardwood floors. I thought I had found a place I could afford that was awesome and made my heart happy and in a great location... but then I found the blog of a disgruntled resident, devoted entirely to just how shitty the place was. Some of my favorite pieces of information included the murder that happened right outside the front door last year, the bedbug epidemic, and the fact that the plumbing is frequently stopped up. YAY ME. I get it, I get the cycle now, any place semi-livable will always be out of my budget and any place within my budget will be a dump. Cool. Glad I had this talk.

2. I could have MURDERED my lovely boyfriend this morning... Why? Oh let me explain. I wake up between the minutes of 6:36 and 6:45 every morning. Every fucking morning. Matt wakes up between 7:15 and 7:25. We have this down to a science for bathroom time and goodbyes and everything. You know what we do not have down to a fucking science? Matt's alarm. What do I mean? I mean I will wake up in the morning to the sound of a bird chirping three miles away. A bomb could go off and Matt would not stir in the slightest. I wake him up nearly every morning. So WHY does he have ELEVEN alarms that go off starting at 6 bloody 15?  You know who wakes up? ME. You know who doesn't even begin to broach the realm of consciousness? MATT. I turn off all eleven of these alarms. EVERY DAY. Those are my last twenty minutes of sleep thankyouverymuch, at least set them for after I need to wake up, especially if you aren't going to drag yourself out of the warm nook of bedful bliss until 45 minutes later. Thanks. . Every time I try to bring this up, we get in a fight. HI HONEY. The last two mornings have been less than amiable between us. Breaking point? Yeah, I've hit it.

3. My father turned fifty last Friday, the old geezer. I probably don't need to explain any further than this:

that's my father. taking a shot. out of an ice luge. on his birthday.

florence, as always, looking like she's having a great time. at least she's got the stank eye down pat.

props to my mother for yet another ragefest of a party.

oh yeah, this happened. i hate to miss out on the fun. big thanks to my little brother eric for the assist.

4. This past weekend we drove to Columbus to see my old college friends get sloppy on a bar crawl. And succeed I did, in spades. Looks like Columbus really brings out the white girl wasted in me. Thanks for that reminder, self. Good times were had by all and my night ended with a cab driver laughing maniacally as he drove the wrong way on a one way and then a black out. Good thing I'm moving even further away from Columbus, I can't handle that kind of partying anymore.

i used to live with these people! friends4evaaaaaaaa.

now time for a before and after. ready? this is the before.

......and the after.

5. Yesterday driving to work it was clear blue and beautiful and perfect... and something broke inside of me. So I took a half day. It was the best decision I've made all week, easily. God, I love summer.

better use of my afternoon? i'd say so.

6. I was going through my clothes, trying to purge my belongings (rather unsuccessfully I might add), when it came to my attention that I am, in fact, the owner of a red velvet blazer. I've worn in once. On a first date. In Chicago. He ended up taking me to a naked burlesque show. I don't know why I haven't burned this thing, let alone donated it. Usually, I have such good taste. I do have a theory about why I can't throw things like this away though. I LOVE THEME PARTIES. You never know when you're going to be able to use something for a costume/outfit. I'm right, right? Yes, I am.

god, i'm such a babe. i'll miss you, red velvet blazer.

And that, my friends, is what is up with me.


  1. hahaha ok. Now don't think I'm crazy just yet, but you MAY be able to wear that blazer over a cute black dress to work, no? I started doing this with all the blazers I had bought and weren't wearing. It mixes it up a little from the mundane cardigan. I don't know. If you don't like it, toss is.

    I feel ya on the alarm clock. I wake up to a nice peaceful alarm clock on my phone and he wakes up to the world's most annoying alarm EVER. Every time I hear it I feel like breaking something - especially when he keeps hitting snooze. GAH!!!

  2. Good for you on the half day. Summers are too precious to work through.

    And good for you for partying and still having all your teeth in your 'after' photo.