i'm really bad at handling nice gestures.

 

 

 

Ok. I just got flowers delivered to me at work and I'm about to confess something weird.

 

 

 

I honestly don't know what it is with me, but I absolutely DESPISE this sort of attention in my professional environment. Or my personal environment. Or at all.  I just can't get on board with receiving the gift of flowers. Every single time it happens, all the blood in my body rushes to my face and I can't make eye contact with anyone else in the room because they're all grinning at me like idiots because OMGZ FLOWERS and I JUST CAN'T HANDLE IT. To their credit, most of my loved ones are aware of my total neurotosism about this, and I have only recieved flowers approximately five times in the past five years. Usually from people who don't know me well. Every single time was agonizing and riddled with anxiety and panic sweat.

 

 

 

I appreciate the gesture, I really do, but cut flowers have been murdered. As someone that holds Joan Root in my top ten idols of all time, I just can't get on board with cut flowers as a sign of admiration. Potted plants? Love that shit. Totally about it.

 

 

 

On top of that, the attention that comes with getting flowers is just really unsettling for me. Today, for instance, a company whose account I have handled (among many others) for the past two and a half years sent me flowers because I am leaving my job and they wanted me to know that they appreciate the bomb ass work I have done for them and their finicky personnel and mountains of paperwork. It honestly was a major organizational achievement for me. I love doing a good job and being told I did a good job and basically just being the best and winning at everything I do because I am ultra competitive and also kind of an asshole. But a simple email, copying my boss of course, saying that in words, would have been just as awesome.

 

 

 

Instead everyone in my department just witnessed how terrible I am at receiving nice gestures, as I turned blood red and avoided eye contact with anyone as I very loudly announced several times, "Wow, that was really nice. Really nice of them." Because they're not here to thank and I had no idea what else to say.

 

 

Gotta go send a thank you. Eight more working days. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.