Friday, March 11, 2011

sniffing out my 'calling,' second installment

Alright, it's time to weigh the pluses and minuses of my potential career endeavors, as promised yesterday.

Camp Director

I think I would actually be relatively decent at this job. Summer camp was by far one of the highlights of my childhood and it would be cool to give that experience to miniature humans. Camp fire sing-a-longs? A HELL YES. Plus, I actually wish I still had the good fortune to attend summer camp myself... still. I actually did a summer in New Hampshire at a camp teaching the upper-middle-class youth of the East Coast how to Kayak. It. was. awesome. However, being solely accountable for hundreds of other peoples' most prized accomplishments (aka, their children) is somewhat daunting. In addition, summer camps only typically operate in the summer, seeing as how their main customers are children that spend the majority of their year in schools. So, the remaining portion of the year would involve a lot of desk work. Plus, I like to get kind of wild in the summer myself, and not the kid-friendly kind. With Camp Directors averaging zero days off during the sunnier months, my canoeing-with-a-nalgene-of-Jim-Beam time would be greatly and gravely reduced.

Overall, I give this possibility a C+ for possible enjoyment and feasibility.

Speech Writer

This is actually a serious dream of mine. However, I'm not really having much luck breaking into the speech writing field. Do they have a union? The grad school program I'm feebly attempting to gain addmission to is actually sort of aligned with this goal... so it's a possibility. I just think it would be totally badass to hear someone give a riveting speech that moves millions and be like "Oh, no big whoop, I wrote that for them." I'm guessing there's not a huge demand for speech writers at this point, but since writing is something I already enjoy doing... Well. Cool. Downside, I don't want to turn into a slick-back-haired spin doctor for some lame reality TV star or sleazy politician who just got busted for kiddie porn. I have a soul. Kind of. I'm guessing this is kind of a take-what-you-can-get field.

Grade = B

NGO Coordinator for International Women's Groups

Really kind of regretting taking the serious route here. Now I have to explain things and whatnot. I may have some degrees in Cultural Anthropology and Women's Studies. I may have extensive knowledge on micro-loans and what they're doing for women in developing countries. Ie,  Poverty = bad. I may have a strong appetite for international travel and a tendency towards empathy for those comercials with the little dark skinned babies not swatting the flies all over their chubby and adorable faces. God dammit, I want to make the world a better place, okay? The problem is that I 1. Have some semi-serious health problems of my own. 2. Most of the work for organizing these women is done by volunteers, and as we found out here, I'm not exactly rolling in dough. Getting a job at an organization that does this kind of work exclusively has proven to be, for me, like trying to find a needle in the proverbial haystack. However... maybe with a masters degree? Perhaps I could do an internship?  UGH.

Grade = B-


Ooooooh, I've had a taste of the greatness that is a bartender's life, and It's been a hard thing to walk away from. On the one hand, serving up drinks at a decent bar will make you shitloads of money with minimal effort  on the weekends and allow you to get drunk often and sleep the day away. On the other hand, bartending sucks you into a way of life perpetuated by laziness and petty drama. In addition to this being the period in my life where I knew the least about what was going on in the world, I also fell into the weirdest and most inconvienent sleep schedule... ever.  Working every weekend night and going out on Sundays makes the bars less crowded, but it also forces you to make new (worthless) friends that also bartend. On the upside, this job can take place virtually anywhere in the world and I find the locational flexiblity appealing, but I'm not going to be in my 20s forever and I just visibly shuddered at the thought of kissing all possibility of having an actual fulfilling job to become the desperate albeit FUN! single thirty-five year old with a beer-belly, bad fake tan, and talon-like nails, still trying to bring all the boys to the yard. Finally, owning my own bar with a bunch of my cooky friends would be semi-awesome, I mean, who doesn't have a Charlie in their friend-group? But I just can't get away from the idea of becoming the talon-lady. I think I need to put this possibilty to bed.

Grade = D+

Great American Novelist

I really enjoy writing. I've been writing little stories and personal narratives to entertain myself for as long as I can remember. Hence, this blog. However, I sometimes have a really hard time finishing things that I start, namely large projects. The idea of writing an entire book is pretty appealing, but then thinking about commiting to two hundred plus pages of my own original thought sends me into panic-sweats. Plus, a book is an awful lot to give to people of yourself, you know? It's just such a gamble to put yourself out there with a book and then have some rando that doesn't know you let you know how much you suck at everything and have never had an original thought, etc. I'm a pansy, apparently.

Grade = C

White-Water-Rafting Guide

Um, constant adreneline, working outside, and being on the water? All day? Every day? YES, please. Um, actually liking my job and being super excited to get up every day and go do it? Double Yes, please. I'm actually pretty handy with a paddle and feel like I would really find a niche group of people that I genuinely enjoyed being around daily if I worked a job like this. However, do I really want to do seasonal work for the majority of my life? Working somewhere gorgeous and loving my life cuts me right to the heart, but a lack of stability and actual career could actually turn out to be a problem for me. My parents did pay boatloads of dollars for my college degree. I should, I guess, at least try to make them proud. I'm not so much concerned about this job being dangerous as I am verbally flying off the handle at some dumbass rookie tourist who puts their life in danger by not following my instructions. When I was 20 and a camp counselor, my girls went on a rafting trip in Montreal that I had the pleasure of chaperoning... there were eight fifteen year old girls in the raft with the guide and myself and there were several moments where I felt genuine pity for the women as she attempted to navigate a raft of teenage divas over class IV rapids. Overall, though, the awesome factor wins out.

Grade = A for enjoyment,C for fulfillment/feasibility

Interior Designer

Okay, this is kind of an odd entry to the list, but I can explain, sort of. It's just that lately I've had this compulsion to make areas I find myself in more visually pleasing. It's almost annoying, but at this point I'm still enjoying it. Although, building up a database of clients could be a rather daunting task and dealing with women who have too much money to throw around would be taxing to my minimal patience. This job could also be done virtually anywhere and would grant me relative autonomy over my schedule. On the other hand, I don't know a lick about color schemes and I have no credibility.

Overall grade = C-

Astronaut... bummer.

Antique Store Owner

Sooo. I LOVE antique stores and trolling around them for hours on end, in search of the perfect butter dish or whatever else I'm in the market for that day. Unforunately, when I spend those hours on end in said antique stores, I end up hitting my inhalor like 87923483 times because HOLY mold and musty air. Also, I'm terrible at haggling, but I think it could possibly be different if I was on the selling end instead of the buying end. I'm also not sure how I'd go about acquring enough really old things to justify opening my own business, but I'm anxious to get to the pluses with this one, so let's do that instead. I'm picturing myself wearing a house dress and slippers, languidly shrewn across an old chaise lounge, reading in front of a fire with my dogs at my feet, absentmindedly "working," but really just hanging out and making occasional sales. I could be cool. I'm really good at making up stories on the spot, so I could probably sell just about anything. "Yeahhhhhhh, that ring was the only thing that made it through the great depression. I heard the family ate their own dogs. ::Glance lovingly at my own dogs::. "Those were truly hard times. I surely can't part with this precious heirloom for under 8,000 dollars." And then I'm running a successful business, because who's going to look into that shit?! Eat it, Antique Roadshow!

Alright. Here's the deal, I'm going to have to do the rest Monday, because this has taken a surprisingly long time thus far and to be honest, even I'm losing interest with it.

Have a weekend of weekends!

XO Sara

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