Monday, January 23, 2012

in case we get separated.

A couple of weeks ago Matt sent me an email entitled "In Case We Get Separated." In it was the confirmation number for the hotel room he booked for our weekend trip to Cleveland.
In case we got separated.
And it struck me, how thoughtful, how prepared, how loving that smallest of things can feel to the right person. I've, without a doubt, never been with anyone else that would have thought to ease my mind that way.
I was reading back through some old emails when I noticed that one again, and just skimming the title sent a wave of gratitude washing over my entire being. Because those type of gestures are what made me fall in love with Matt. And those type gestures lessen my disgust and impatience at certain other pieces and parts of his being.  
Seeing the actual man, living with him, knowing all these pieces and parts and personality characteristics is to know that they are interwoven and that when you love someone, you don't get to separate the this from the that, what you will take versus what they will need to change, at least not if you intend for it to last. You take a whole because, I don't know, because it's worth it to you. Because the sum is greater than the parts, because love isn't checks and balances, it's an email that says without saying, I don't want to lose you. If I do, here is how we will find each other.
When we travel, the fact is that we rarely are out of each other's sight, although I have the tendency to just drift through places without giving a thought to how far away I'm going. The fact of us being separated was altogether incredibly unlikely.
 But if we did, we had a way to get back to each other, which is nice.

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