Friday, January 27, 2012

irrational hatred!

If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you've probably been able to surmise that my life is basically a constant struggle of finding a way to accept how fucking weird it is to be human while simultaneously taking everyone for what they have to offer with that idea in mind.... with a positive attitude. Basically, I'm shooting to be an accepting type.
Work in progress. 
Key word : PROGRESS. 
But that in no way means that I'm not a total asshole (um, duh) and so today I'm going to embrace that fact by sharing five things that I have an irrational hatred toward. Don't get me wrong, I hate lots and lots more things, but I'm going for irrational things, so basically stuff most people aren't bothered by or actually like.... sorry if I offend. But if you're offended, you're also wrong in my eyes, so there's that.  
1. Lenny Kravitz.
When I originally decided to write this post, it was because "American Woman" came on the radio on my drive home last night and I punched the power button as fast as I could, but I was already seething. That's how quickly Lenny Kravitz can ravage a decent mood.  Why? Because I hate the fuck out of Lenny Kravitz. For no reason, which only makes my loathing even stronger. Irrational hatred doesn't need a tether like 'cause' because it is self sustaining and viral.
2.  Emoticons
I'm an emotional person who believes in displays of sentiment. Yet, my hatred for emoticons knows no bounds. There is no logical explanation for me visibly shuddering every time I get a winky face via text/email/facebook, yet there is no escaping it. I mind this transgression most at work where it's totally unprofessional and unnecessary and least when it's by one of my friends doing it on purpose to get a rise out of me. But generally, I feel a low-grade revulsion toward it at all times.
3. Raisins
I have not eaten a raisin in 15 years, a fact of which I am perversely proud. Around age ten, I started spreading the word that I was 'allergic' to raisins among my friend's parents every time I was offered them as a snack. Being a generally unfussy child in the eyes of most of my friend's parents, this claim was never questioned or disputed and I still have no idea why. Who the hell is allergic to raisins?! In reality, I simply hate them.  I refuse to eat anything that wrinkly and shriveled and that's probably the basis for my hatred for raisins.
4. Running into people I know, even most of my friends, in public.
There are probably five people I could run into in public without warning that I'd be genuinely happy to see. Mostly, I fucking hate it. It's not that I don't love my friends, but because honestly, I'm really, really awkward and anxiety-laden in the public setting. Like, if I'm at Target, I know what every person in a twenty foot radius is looking at and I'm hyper-aware if they so much as glance at me. It's kind of pathetic. So when I run into someone I know,  I go through this internal battle of whether or not to say hi, then if we should hug or shake hands or awkwardly side-wave- and then if we actually engage, how long we should talk, what if they're in a hurry? Am I in a hurry? What if one of us is buying something embarrassing? Why are we not here together? Is this the place I want to catch up? No.  If I'm not included in this plan, seeing them and engaging feels like some sort of intrusion for us both, even if I was going to tell them about it later. I don't know what's wrong with me. I swear I'm charming in social settings. But chance encounters with people I know? I hate them.
5.  The "What do you want for dinner?" conversation
Holy hell do I hate this question, and it happens almost five days a week between 5:03 and 5:15. As soon as I hear it come out of Matt's mouth, the entire tone of the conversation changes in my mind. Because honestly, I don't give a rat's ass what's for dinner as long as I'm not the one making it. This conversation has been known to cause prolonged silences and ruin entire evenings. I get it, to most people it's a really considerate question, but to me it has become a call to battle that becomes a stand-off with neither one of us willing to make a concrete suggestion or decision. I just don't want to pick. I will eat literally everything (except raisins, teehee) and Matt is the pickiest eater known to man, so why would this decision ever, EVER fall on me? Yes, I realize it's totally irrational and bitchy for me to get this upset about a polite question, but it's SO MUCH MORE than just a question to me, and also, this is a list of irrational hatred, obviously. If it was up to me, I'd throw together a salad or eat toast and eggs or a fucking hot pocket every night. That's right, a hot pocket. There, I said it.


  1. Lenny Kravitz! Ha. I was trying to get a friend to read The Hunger Games, and she asked me about the movie and who had been cast in what role. As soon as I said "Lenny Kravitz" she busted out laughing and gave me the side eye. Damn you, Lenny Kravitz!!

    I also HATE running into people I know. Always awkward!

  2. The decision of what to eat for lunch and dinner is pretty much killing any dreams I had that adulthood was cool in any way. Yet it is a decision I am constantly faced with and dreading.